{"product_id":"future-wife-might-poison-me-sarcastic-cooking-t-shirt","title":"\"Future Wife Might Poison Me\" Sarcastic Cooking T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSometimes you cook to be romantic. Other times, you cook to stay alive.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThey say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but if she’s the one doing the cooking, you might be taking that literally. This tee is for the man who doesn't just pick up the spatula to impress her with a candlelit dinner - he picks it up because he’s seen her \"special recipe\" and he’s not ready to meet his ancestors yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eIt’s the ultimate tribute to the paranoid husband-to-be. Whether you’re whipping up a steak to keep the romance alive or just making sure dinner doesn't come with a side of \"suspicious seasoning,\" this shirt is your new kitchen uniform. Featuring a gritty, vintage comic aesthetic, it’s built on our \u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"300\"\u003eHeritage Heavyweight\u003c\/strong\u003e canvas - thick, structured, and premium.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Essentials:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Dual Vibe:\u003c\/strong\u003e Perfect for the romantic chef who’s also 100% suspicious of \"Surprise Stew.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight premium cotton with a boxy, streetwear cut that stays sharp even when the kitchen starts smoking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVintage Irony:\u003c\/strong\u003e High-contrast graphic with a lo-fi feel for the guy who handles the pans so he can live to see tomorrow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eQuality:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% thick cotton. Built to last longer than her attempt at \"homemade\" soup.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0933\/7785\/5768\/files\/yasdrop_size.png?v=1775111399\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":52035858366744,"sku":"69167150507232799281","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ S","offer_id":52035858399512,"sku":"21307778177005358534","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":52035858432280,"sku":"96479627555283362043","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":52035858465048,"sku":"74468738976983278858","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":52035858497816,"sku":"30947843988514582933","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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