{"product_id":"i-have-microplastics-in-my-soul-embroidered-dad-hat-existential-dread-aesthetic-cap","title":"\"i have microplastics in my soul\" Embroidered Dad Hat | Existential Dread Aesthetic Cap","description":"\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Ultimate Accessory for the Modern Existential Crisis.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eLet’s be honest: they’re in the rain, they’re in the seafood, and at this point, they’ve definitely penetrated your spiritual essence.  Wear your environmental nihilism on your sleeve - or rather, your head - with the \u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"213\"\u003e\"i have microplastics in my soul\" dad hat\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003ePerfect for anyone who copes with the slow, inevitable collapse of the biosphere through top-tier internet irony.  It’s not just a fashion statement; it's a medical diagnosis, an eco-anxious cry for help, and a vibe all rolled into one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy You Need This Cap:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Embroidery:\u003c\/strong\u003e The text is stitched in a clean, low-key font that makes people lean in, read it, and then deeply question their own mortality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e100% Organic Irony:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ironically (or maybe tragically), it’s made from comfortable, breathable 100% cotton. No actual microplastics on your scalp here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"8,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Perfect Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features an adjustable strap with an antique buckle. One size fits most heads, regardless of your current brain-fog levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-path-to-node=\"8,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eUnisex Aesthetic:\u003c\/strong\u003e Looks equally great pairing it with an oversized vintage tee at a thrift store or wearing it to your therapist's office.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0\"\u003e\u003cem data-path-to-node=\"9,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e\"Honestly, the best conversation starter. Someone at a coffee shop read it, sighed deeply, and we just stared into the void together for two minutes. 10\/10.\"\u003c\/em\u003e – Confirmed Buyer\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0933\/7785\/5768\/files\/yasdrop_size_cap.png?v=1778580033\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ One size","offer_id":52109856899352,"sku":"27829164691071764293","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey \/ One size","offer_id":52109856932120,"sku":"69936807997141856742","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki \/ One size","offer_id":52109856964888,"sku":"31537457217229654455","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue \/ One size","offer_id":52109856997656,"sku":"23315143644297973664","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ One size","offer_id":52109857030424,"sku":"33528468219270780982","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink \/ One size","offer_id":52109857063192,"sku":"22602225346524647262","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spruce \/ One size","offer_id":52109857095960,"sku":"31537105559226448670","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ One size","offer_id":52109857128728,"sku":"21529043240605683321","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ One size","offer_id":52109857161496,"sku":"15347886196694396539","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cranberry \/ One size","offer_id":52109857194264,"sku":"33331220104279521644","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0933\/7785\/5768\/files\/i_have_microplastics_in_my_soul_Embroidered_Dad_Hat_Existential_Dread_Aesthetic_Cap_white.jpg?v=1779859782","url":"https:\/\/yasdrop.com\/products\/i-have-microplastics-in-my-soul-embroidered-dad-hat-existential-dread-aesthetic-cap","provider":"YASDROP","version":"1.0","type":"link"}